The Kettle Black

Yes, I made it, I finally made it. To The Kettle Black that is, the latest venture from the masterminds behind Top Paddock and Two Birds One Stone. Located in leafy South Melbourne, The Kettle Black is like a dream come true, absolutely gorgeous with its Scandinavian palette of crisp clean lines, impeccable craftsmanship and understated elegance. Oh, swoon !

The menu here is everything but ordinary, and pushes the boundaries with its strong Australian Asian influences to bring you the best of the best. After an avocado smash ? How about seasonal avocado with citrus, toast and local kelp salt. Or perhaps a polenta porridge with burnt maple, textures of strawberry and basil to Robbins Island wagyu skirt steak in a striking black bun - The Kettle Black promises to bring it to the next level.

King Island Crayfish Ash Roll

A million oohs and ahhs later, I went for the King Island Crayfish Ash Roll. The feathery light bun was full of succulent chunks of crayfish – sweey, silky and springy. The dish was brought together with a squirt of tangy yuzu mayonnaise and crisp magenta-streaked leaves. Overall, the flavours were light, clean and refreshing.

House-made Coconut Yoghurt 

On the other end of the table was the House-made Coconut Yoghurt spotted with gluten-free grains, seeds and nuts and a selection of fresh and dehydrated fruits including tissue-thin slices of Toorak Station prickly pear and poached rhubarb. A sprinkling of citrus powders and scattering of edible flowers, this work of art on a plate was utterly mesmerising. Sadly, I was unable to say the same for the taste as I found the overall fragrances too strong. That might just be me though as it seemed to be well received by everyone else.

The Kettle Black in a word ? Beautiful. The space, the coffee and the food - all beautiful. And you know what they say, you are what you eat. Hehehe.


The Kettle Black
50 Albert Road

South Melbourne, VIC